The Funny Side of the Street

Category Archives: A day in my life

AKA Dale Taco

Posted on by Posted in A day in my life, Humor, Latest episode of my ongoing sitcom .

I wait in the car, embarrassed, once again! We are at Del Taco and Dale has 16 Free Combination Meal Coupons that he has to use up by tomorrow. Mind you, he’s had these for over a month to use, but that wouldn’t be his way. We must always wait until the absolute last minute for everything.

These coupons clearly read one coupon per visit, but the cashier is willing to let us use all of them. Dale can hardly contain his excitement.

So now we have 2 Del Taco combo meals and 14 Fish combo meals. Now do the math, 16 meals times 2 tacos per meal. Yeah, that’s a shit load of tacos.

He just came out with his first four bags with a big old grin on his face. First batch he says and then shouts, “score” and raises his hand in Victory!

He has always had this excitement when he thinks he’s getting something for free or one over on the man. At least I was able to talk him out of 16 large sodas.

I sigh and pull out my notepad and begin writing at a furious pace. When inspiration hits me for a new episode I have to write it down while its fresh. Welcome to my world.



Duck..Duck…Goose

Posted on by Posted in A day in my life .

I know, I know, I know,  its been like forever since I’ve written!

I was driving to work recently, racing as usual, the freeway traffic moving at its normal brisk speed,  Imagine my surprise when I see a bit of debris on the side of the freeway and a small brown baby duck looking right at me, shaking and  looking terrified.  We made eye contact, my blue eyes seeing his scared brown eyes as I sped by.  At this point I’m running late and what the hell am I going to do with a baby duck in my car?  When I arrive at work, I’m upset!  I call the Bird Sanctuary in my town and tell the receptionist what happened, I can tell she seems a little skeptical because it isn’t baby duck season and tells me there is nothing she can do.  Shit, now what do I do?  The poor little guy is probably road kill by now!

 

I leave Dale a text message, told him I did all I can do.  And then he takes over… 

He’s driving up and down the freeway, texting me non-stop.  “Where exactly did you see it?” “Which wall was it next to?” He must have driven back and forth between the two exits for at least an hour.  Then he starts to question me, “Are you sure you saw a duck?’, “of course,” I say.   “His sad brown eyes looked right at me.” But, as I started to think about it, Did I really see a duck while traveling 65 m.p.h? Did I just convince myself it was a duck? Why on earth would a baby duck be siting on the side of the freeway?  How much sleep did I get last night?

Dale tells me all he saw was a bit of debris that looked like a piece of brown rug and some fuzzy, cottony material.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was in fact my “Donald Duck” exactly where I said he was located.

Lesson:  Go to bed earlier at night so the hallucinations are kept at bay…