I’m in my favorite Blogging attire:  fleece pajama pants, loose t-shirt, no bra, fuzzy socks, slippers and my headset playing some Jackson Browne.  Life doesn’t get better than this, not for me. 

I had a “spa” day with a couple of girlfriends this afternoon.  It was such a great day.  I really enjoyed getting into some serious discussions about life, religion or lack of it, ambitions, dreams, insecurities, and passions.    I love conversations that help me grow as a person.  It was one of those kinds of days. 

One of the ladies pointed out that I say this certain phrase constantly whenever I am talking.  She was doing it in a kind way and just making me aware of it.  I have been saying it for so long, why hadn’t anyone else ever told me.  She would touch her nose every time I said it; I’m surprised her nose didn’t fall off by the end of the day.  I know I have your curiosity peeked, “what is the phrase.”  I told her that when I “write” that “phrase” never appears.  “What do you think that means,” she asks. 

I think it’s about insecurities that we all have, it’s the baggage that we all carry from our childhoods.  The feeling of not wanting to be singled out, appear inferior to others.  I find that through my writing my authentic being appears.  This is who I am, the real me.  Wow, that’s just so powerful to me.  I just feel lucky because I feel like I “get it.”  I’m unique, I have dreams that I am trying to make a reality.  I’m excited about the future and what life holds for me if I leave myself open to the possibilities.

I’ve been back from my holiday vacation for almost one week and am slowly getting back into the groove of things.

I’ve signed up for another class that starts next month. What can I say, I like to learn new things. If I want to apply to that company I mentioned in a previous post I need to become proficient in this computer program. I will have to take a second class once I’ve completed this one. I don’t think I have the experience needed for the positions that I’ve seen open on their website but I’m hoping soon I will see one that will be a nice fit for me.

I had some really sad news from home that I am still trying to get a handle on. A neighborhood friend of mine from childhood died on Friday night. He was only 44 years old, married, 4 children and just an all around “great guy.” It just rocks you to the core. It’s a reality check that we are never promised tomorrow and we must live each day to the fullest. I’m fortunate that I was able to see him last week while I was home, never in my wildest dreams would I have known it would be the last time 🙁

The car ride home from the

I’ve been in my childhood home for the holidays this year and I have to say,  I find so much comfort in the “familiar.”

It’s still strange for me, the absense of my father.  I keep waiting for that distinctive sound he made when he would clear his throat or having him poke his head in the living room when he would have a commercial on the television in the other room.  

I guess I’m just feeling a bit melancholy tonight because my trip is coming to and end and soon I will have to say goodbye to my family. I’m never one that does well with goodbyes and I know I will shed some tears over the next day or two.

The airport drop off routine was always the same when my Dad was alive. He was always the one to drop me off, just him and I. I’d always have tears rolling down my face for at least 2 or 3 miles before we actually arrive at the airport. He knew this and would only ask questions where a nod was enough of an answer or he’d ask no questions at all. He would take my bag out of the trunk and place it on the curb, give me a hug, make a little small talk. At this point I cannot even look up, I can never say anything because I am a wreck. But I know he knows I love him,  so this does not need to be said. A quick hug and off I rush inside.

-the photo is from the movie, “Home for the Holidays.”