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A letter to Jen…

Posted on April 24, 2011 by Sandy Collier Posted in Uncategorized .

Dear Jen, 

You know that I like to write and I have so many feelings I need to get out.  Wow, a blog in your memory, I bet your feeling special.  I’ve been on such an emotional roller coaster since Friday morning when I got the call. 

I can’t believe I’ll never see your smiling face again.  When I dropped you off the Airport as you headed off for a new adventure I wish I had hugged you a little bit harder.  It’s so crazy how fragile life can be and how unseen circumstances can change a life. What if the waitress had taken a little while longer to bring you your check, you had ordered something that took a little longer to cook, you didn’t have that cigarette outside that I know you did.  Then maybe that driver that hit you would have already driven down the street and your paths would not have crossed.  

I know that some people believe that we are all predestined to depart this earth at a certain time, I don’t know if I really believe that, there are just to many variables that have to come into play. 

I know that although we didn’t talk about it much you were a bit of a tortured soul that you tried to hide with a smile and a hearty laugh. But, I always knew…

I’m trying to find comfort in the fact that you don’t have to worry about anything anymore.  You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders any longer.  I know in time I will feel that way.

But, I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  Can you call me?

11 Comments
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11 Responses

  1. Thisisme. says
    April 24, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Sandy, I was so sorry to hear of your terrible news and your loss. What a shock it must have been for you. Sending hugs your way.

  2. William says
    April 24, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Jen and I had been up talking all night Wednesdat into Thursday morning. One of the last things I said to Jen about 5:30 am Thursday just before I left was, “Everybody dies but not everybody lives.” She knew exactly what I meant and said she had lived in her life. She was so excited to be starting anew, exercising her independence and letting go of the past. We were supposed to go to the beach that day but she said that Johnny was going to take her to the beach instead. She said she’d take a raincheck. Guess she’s going to own me that one. Strange the twists that life throws us. She always talked of you as a great friend and one of her favorite people. Can’t believe she’s gone.

  3. Anonymous says
    April 25, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Sandy,
    There’s not much I can say. Just be thankful you were a good friend and stay strong. I send you “hugs.” Love, Betty

  4. Anonymous says
    April 25, 2011 at 12:59 am

    Jenny was like my little sister… I loved her and she will be missed. She looked out for me when I was just starting to deal and I was rough around the edges and said if I ever had a problem with a table she would be there for me. I feel her presents now at every table I deal. Thank you Sandy for writing about her.
    Tommy G

  5. Anonymous says
    April 25, 2011 at 3:10 am

    Reading this makes me even more sad. I have always been the one that tries to be strong for everyone else that hurts during a tragedy. Jenn was a great person and did not deserve to die like that. I feel the same as you, I am not ready to say goodbye. I want her to know how much we all cared about her, even though she might not of really thought we did. I, like you, thought going to Florida would be exactly what she needed to get away from some of her sadness here. I would of begged her to stay here, if I knew this is how it would all play out. I want to thank you Sandy for being so strong for all of us here. Thanks for writing to Jenn. You have lost a great friend, but never forget the good times you got to share with her. I think in many ways, we were all blessed to have her as our friend. Thanks again for all that YOU do. Jenn loved you very much and she would of loved this blog. So long Jenn. I miss you.

    Gary Owens

  6. caterpillar says
    April 25, 2011 at 9:41 am

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss…I know that nothing I say will bring down your sadness, so all I’m going to say is that you are in my prayers. Hugs!

  7. Happy Frog and I says
    April 25, 2011 at 10:20 am

    This must have been a very difficult blog post to write. I’m so sorry for your loss. x

  8. Mom says
    April 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    As the tears roll down my face not having ever met your friend Jenn your letter to her is beautiful. You spoke of her so often and she was so kind when Dad passed. Sandy you must know what a good friend she had in you. Try to just remember all the fun times you had together and take comfort in that. Love you and wish I could hug you. Mom

  9. Bettie Lou says
    April 26, 2011 at 1:24 am

    Sandy,
    My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry about your friend. Your letter to her was just beautiful. I’m sure she is reading it now. She knows what a good friend you were. Some day you will answer your phone and no one is there, maybe there is. I wish I could hug you too,

    Love you, so much

    Aunt Bettie Lou

  10. Barbara L says
    May 2, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    Beautiful post for your friend. It is mind boggling how the right or left turn, or as you say something like how long it took to get your food, can mean life or death.

  11. Retired English Teacher says
    June 21, 2011 at 2:39 am

    I am so sorry for your loss of a good friend in such an unexpected way. Hang on to the memories.

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