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Bathing Suit Season, waaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Posted on July 17, 2010 by Sandy Collier Posted in Uncategorized .

I was just going to send out a mass email to the ladies telling them about a company I heard about that has really cute bathing suits, but then I thought I’ve got a few things to say about that particular subject.

Why is it that the bathing suits that are really comfortable, you know the ones that your ass cheeks are securely covered, your back fat isn’t showing through the wrinkles and half of your boobs aren’t hanging out of the top always seem to resemble the ones that our grandmothers wore. Who designs these things anyhow? That’s what I want to know. Don’t they know that the average woman is a size 14. We want something cool like the younger crowd but unfortunately we’ve got a little more flesh on our bones.

I find shopping for a bathing suit one of the most depressing things “ever”. I can be in a happy place, feeling cute and secure with myself but a few hours after the shopping trip begins I just want to crawl into a hole. First off, you’re always too pale, the lights are to bright in the dressing rooms and those mirrors make me look fat. What’s up with the trick mirrors anyhow, do they think we find that amusing. Well I for one don’t. Oh and then there’s always some teenie boppers modeling their suits, “this size 4 is way to big on me”, one is bound to say. I can feel myself feeling hatred for them, LOL.

I always need to get a bigger size to harness my large “breastesses”. I know that’s not a real word but it always makes me laugh. I urge you to add this to your vocabulary if you’re a well endowed girl, its just a funny word, use it, embrace it, enjoy it.

And why do all the plus sizes always have large floral patterns, enter Granny once again.

And then there are those little skirts that I know I always feel more secure in. Sorry ladies those make us look like Gramma’s too. And they always seem to make those skirts too short especially on the back side. There is always the chance that an ass cheek might make an appearance. That’s always something to look forward to, yeah right!

Well after much rambling the site with really cute swim suits is, “Trunketts.com. Instead of the skirts they have really cute swim trunks. I might get ones with leopard prints. MEOW!!!!!

2 Comments
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2 Responses

  1. Anonymous says
    July 17, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    You watch your mouth, where would you be without a grandmother. I get so tired of all you young people making fun of our suits.I can’t help it if they make ugly suits for us to where. Will check out your Trunks.com, maybe there I’ll find something BEAUTIFUL. Love You, Mom

  2. Anonymous says
    July 17, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Sandy, Listen to your Mother!How would you like to liv e on a peninsula with some of the most beautiful beaches in the world with a selection of suits mostly size 0 or size 18 to 24. the 0’s mostly fit kids who are really size 4 but squeeze thier butts into them so they hang out everywhere thinking they should be on Playboy, sorry girls you only look stupid because you can’t pick out your proper size. AND the 18 and up sizes look like the they got thier material from those guys that make Hawaiian mumu’s. Really big hibuscus or orchids in the mose outrageous colors. What are they thinking?????? Wearing a cover up is a necesity for sure. Then try and sneek that suker off while no one is looking is a real trick. So you don’t have it all that bad, at least you have your youth and you are cute as hell. LOve you too, Aunt Bettie Lou

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