Before, I tell this story I must say that although my father was not born in a turnip patch, he wasn’t exactly “worldly”. He was a simple man.
My cousin Peter was having a small stag party and my father was part of their posse. After their dinner my Dad wanted a beer so they ventured into the bar next door. It didn’t take long to discover that this bar was in fact a strip club. I can totally see my Dad trying to act like he’s “down with that” but he was so out of his comfort zone. There were the “dirty girls” as my Mom calls them doing their “dirty dancing” on the bar. It’s a wonder we girls were ever conceived.
At this point in recounting the story my Uncle Paul is laughing so hard he can barely speak. My Dad is also smiling as we’re begging… “Then what happened”?
A rough looking “stripper” scantily clad with three-inch stiletto heels sashays over towards my Dad and asks him, “Would you like a lap dance”. When I tell you what his response is you’ll understand why I said he wasn’t experienced in the “ways of the world”, hence the turnip patch analogy.
His response was, “no thank you, I have bad legs and my feet hurt”. The girl just gave him a baffled look like, “are you kidding”, and stumbled away in her rickety ass shoes. The funniest thing is he really thought she just wanted to dance. Uncle Paul laughed so hard his drink shot out of his nose. What can I say; we Hallenbeck’s are “cheap entertainment”.