Sorry I’ve been such a slacker with my blogging the last couple of weeks. I’ve been putting in more hours at work, our weather has cooled down, my house was dirty, I was tired, I had to go grocery shopping, my cat needed lots of hugs, my husband needed lots of hugs, I had to do the laundry and my cat needed more hugs, so that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Alright so after all that rambling my subject matter of today’s post is “Tofurky.”
The head of my casino has turned into a major vegan. I don’t know, he saw someone he hadn’t seen in a long time who looked wonderful. This guy told him how his life had changed since he turned “vegan.” He watched a cd and the next day he was converted. So he makes up like 10,000 copies and handed them out to all his employees. Vegetables and I have a tense relationship, I just don’t like em. I’m offended by them, they smell bad, taste bad and give you gas. What’s to like about them? Those vegetables need to keep their distance from me. I’ll mess them up real bad.
We have a buffet style employee dining room at work. They have incorporated a vegetarian section that I’ve been warily checking out lately. Last week I tried a piece of tofu. It was shaped like a small white sponge with a weird shiny gloss like finish. This shit was so nasty. I don’t even know how to describe the consistency I felt while it sloshed around my mouth. It had absolutely no taste either.
So yesterday I decided to go back again to the veggie section and take another peek. They had a sign in front of this strange yellow/brown loaf that said “tofurky.” It was sliced like deli meat so I grabbed me some. I don’t know why but I feel like I have to write like a hillbilly right now. Is tofurky trailer trash food? Me’s not so sure, LOL. I also had me some zucchini lasagna.
I went back to my table and tried to cut my tofurky with my fork and butter knife. I guess we can’t be trusted with steak knives at work. I might run up into the casino and start stabbing some of the customers, cheap bastards that they are. Sorry did I say that outloud too, why do I keep doing that? This fake meat was so tough that I decided to just pick it up and eat it like a cookie. I hate to say it but that shit was good. I did get a few weird looks when I dipped it into my milk glass.
As a side note I’ve actually been incorporating more vegetables into my diet. Dale and I have been doing a lot of grilled vegetables. And I’m kind of digging them. See Mom, aren’t you proud of me? And I’m drinking more milk too.