My thoughts on massages….

My friend and I went to the massage school yesterday for “cheap” massages by the students.  As we waited to be called, two students came in with their clip boards holding our information.  One male and one female.  My friend and I both looked at each other and smiled with the same thought going through our head, “I better not get the guy”.  I practically leaped out of my seat like I had just won the academy award when the girl said “Sandy”.  I had to smile and chuckle, “sucker”.  Most women do not like a male masseuse, you just can’t relax.  I know sometime in the massage he will be doing my upper thigh, what if he gets to close to “you know”, what if he said with a question in his voice “happy ending”, oh jesus, I’d freak!  During the massage they are constantly taking the sheet and wrapping it in a certain way that only exposes a certain body part that they are concentrating on.  When she had one ass cheek exposed and was kind of slapping it around like a piece of raw dough,  I was so thankful that I wasn’t with the guy.  My ass felt like a bowl of jello “jiggle, jiggle, jiggle” and not in a good or attractive way.  I wonder what thoughts run through their heads.  I know these are some of the thoughts I would have:  “Kill me now”, “is this an ass or a bucket of cottage cheese”, “have you ever heard of something called a sit-up”,  “wow, do you have bad breath”, “look at all this back fat”,  “it would have been nice if you shaved your legs”, “yuck”, “grooosssssss”, “did I thaw something out for dinner”.  Needless to say I will not be looking into this for a career move for myself.