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Writing Fiction Class – Lesson One, 500 word story

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Sandy Collier Posted in Fiction .

I picked up my story from the words “dancing fast and bright,” and no I’ve never surfed.  I might be afraid of sharks… 
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The sun is warm, the sky is clear, the waves are dancing fast and bright –  and all I hear is the theme to “Jaws” playing in my head.  Why did I ever agree to a surfing lesson, me, a person who has a real fear of swimming in the ocean.  I blame the Margarita’s last night. 
Becky had said, “you’re in one of those most beautiful places in the world and you’re too scared to go in the damn water.” I could feel my annoyance level rising with her.   So as I chugged my 4th cocktail I looked her in the eye and said, “for your information B-E-C-K-Y I signed up for a surfing lesson tomorrow morning.  Even though I hadn’t yet.

I take in the view as I exit my swanky hotel on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu, my God it’s early.  I pull off my sandals before I step in the warm sand; it feels so good on my tired feet.   I take a deep breath and smell the sand, the salt and that unmistakable scent of suntan lotion.   The sky is so bright and blue it almost hurts my head,  the water is like a mirror reflecting the sun, I cup my hand and make a shield over my eyes.  I scan the beach for the surf rental stand.   Oh shit, there it is.  I think I’m going to throw up.  Stupid, stupid, and stupid I mumble to myself.  My heart is racing so fast I think I’m having an anxiety attack.

Hey, you must be Samantha my 9:00 appointment, right? Just run, is my first thought but I say yes, I’m Sam.  Hey, I’m Keiko he grins and I can tell you’re a little nervous.  Don’t worry Sam I’ll take good care of you, you can swim, right?  I want to say no,  but I’m actually a pretty strong swimmer, in a pool,  where there are no sharks.  Yeah I swim, I mumble.

Keiko goes over to the short wall and grabs two surfboards.  He hands me mine.  Jesus, this thing is taller than me.   He lays both boards in the shallow water where the surf is breaking and lays down on it and shows me how to gracefully go from a laying, to a kneeling to a standing position on the board.  After 10 minutes I think I kind of have it down. 

We head out into the surf with our boards.  He teaches me how to paddle, how to sit on the board waiting for a wave, and how to dive into a wave so you don’t get caught in the undertow of it.    The water feels so intoxicating  I smile at Keiko.  You ready Sam; here comes your wave, paddle.    You know when it’s time, now Sam, he shouts.  And what felt like slow motion and not too graceful I pulled myself up on the board and rode that wave to shore.  Maybe it was only a 4-foot wave, but it was a wave all the same. 


5 Comments
« Fiction Writing Class, Day One.
A tribute to Mom on her birthday… »

5 Responses

  1. claire says
    September 2, 2011 at 2:58 am

    You are so creative, that would have taken me a month do write and it kept my attention, I want more.
    claire

  2. Mom says
    September 2, 2011 at 11:52 am

    I enjoyed it and wanted more. You can do this Sandy, your always thinking “whats next?”
    Love Mom

  3. Betty says
    September 2, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Great! I loved it. I think you’ve found what you really like to do!
    Love, Betty

  4. Cindy says
    September 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    I enjoyed it! You have what it takes…Danielle Steel, LOOK OUT!

  5. Bettie Lou says
    September 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    I also think you have found your nich. And I wanted more and MORE. Keep it going.
    Love ABL

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